Happiness With A Side Of Tea : Facing Anxiety Head On

Facing Anxiety Head On

I believe it's perfectly okay to admit when you're not okay. It doesn't make you weak in my eyes it makes you stronger. It takes a lot to look in the mirror or look at someone else and say "Hey I am losing my mind over here. Please help me." I am going to admit to you all right now this blog post is way different than all my other post. I usually don't do vents but I think I have a lot I'd like to get out. 
I'm not okay. In reality I am far from okay. 

I am not a huge fan of change especially change all at once. I have an anxiety problem which comes from the fact that I feel the need to have control over my life or things in it and when I don't have that sense of control I panic. Which sucks because obviously we can't control every aspect of our lives. 
The only anxiety I had was when I started learning to drive which is probably why I still don't have my license. I'd get tense, my heart rate started racing,  I'd grip onto the wheel so hard my hands and arms were numb, and all I could think was "God don't crash." The moment I got to get out of the driver seat all those feelings went away. I didn't think much of it because I barely wanted to back behind the wheel. 

However my anxiety got a lot worse since I moved here. I have the worse social anxiety which freaked out my mom and all my friends back home. Since I am usually social and bubbly. I believe that sudden change of moving, leaving my boyfriend (now ex boyfriend), some of my family, my friends, entering college and starting a new chapter in my life terrified me and still terrifies me. 

The first time I realized this was a huge problem for me was when I wanted to go a meet and greet for an honor society I was joining. I got to school a bit earlier so I wouldn't be late. I walked past the classroom still saw that they were setting up and couldn't go in. I sat in the student lounge freaking out. I was texting my friend and having a meltdown, my heart was racing, my body was numb, I felt light headed and I was probably on the verge of crying. What helped me through was my friend telling me "It was okay. I didn't have to go if I didn't want to." that and I decided to practice one of the many ways to help get rid of anxiety. I took deep breathes and counted to 10 and sooner or later that helped. Since then I did research and payed more attention in my psychologist classes of all the different ways to help overcome your anxiety. 


1.) It's Up To You (No Pressure)
I learned that you have to be willingly to face this head on. Though your family and friends can be there to support you they can't force you to overcome something you're not ready to deal with yet. Not matter how much everyone stresses me about getting my drivers license getting behind that wheel of a car is something I have to do on my own. 

2.) Baby Steps Are Accomplishments
If you have social anxiety (like me) no one is expecting you to be thrown in a room full of people and talk to every single one of them. It's okay to work in baby steps. For instance I decided to go to my first blogging conference and that was a huge step for me. No doubt I panicked up to the minutes until it started. I asked my mom come with me (since I can't drive) but it helped having her there. It was a sense of comfort knowing if I ended up not talking to someone I could talk to her. However I did end up talking to people and making connections granted I wasn't the first to start a conversation but I still talked back. Those are small but important accomplishments you should recognize. 

3.) Accepting You Can't Control Everything
The whole cause of anxiety is because you feel like you can't control the situation or outcome. The best thing to do to get rid of it is learning to accept that there are some things you cannot control. I know how hard that is to do but you'll feel so much better because the pressure causing that anxiety is lifted off your shoulders. 

When you're feeling anxious do this..... 

1.) Deep Slow Breathes 
It's cliche but it's a cliche that works. Sometimes when you feel anxious your heart rate goes up and your breathing gets heavy. The best thing to do is take deep and slow breaths. I usually count while I am doing this just so it get's my mind off whatever I am anxious about. 

2.) Distract Your Mind 
The more you worry about it the more anxious you get. So do something an activity you enjoy doing whether it's walking, coloring, spending time with family, binge watching, or massages. All that will help you get your mind off what you're anxious about. 

3.) Feed Yourself Positive Thoughts
Negative thoughts will only make you more anxious. If you feel like you're going to fail at something or somethings going to wrong feed yourself positive thoughts. Tell yourself "No! Nothing's going to go wrong. I'm amazing and I can do anything" Inner Monologue and giving yourself peep talks is the best thing you can do. 

4.) Talk About It 
 I find it better when I talk to someone about my anxiety. Sometimes I am looking for a pep talk other times when I vent. When I vent I usually see that what I was worrying about isn't really a big deal. Also it just feels good to have someone there to listen to you, that way you're not all alone in this struggle. 

Hopefully these little tips help you through your own anxiety. The number one thing that has helped me and will continue helping me is knowing I am not the only one going through something like this. I find comfort in that. I also find comfort, support, and encouragement from my friends and family though they may not know it they've truly helped a lot. I believe taking it day by day, step by step really helps you with the bigger things you may be anxious about. I think the number one thing to remember is take it at your own pace no one is telling to accomplish all your fears or anxieties at once. 

Do you ever get anxious about something? How do you deal with it?