Happiness With A Side Of Tea : Setting Dating Goals & Guidelines

Setting Dating Goals & Guidelines

We’re definitely in a new time and age when it comes to the dating world. I’ve been out of the “dating game” for a few years so being back at square one is quite interesting. I’ve never actually gone through the process of courtship before because my past boyfriends and I were already friends. So we just jumped right into a relationship and did the process of going on dates later.

Now that I am single and actually thinking about it and courtship is a very important part of dating. I regret not taking that step which is why I am best now to do so. There’s no need to rush things you actually learn a lot more about the other person and yourself when you do decide to take your time and court each other.

I think before you try dating someone else you need to date yourself first and get to know yourself all over again which makes it easier for you to come up with dating guidelines and goals for someone else if you already have goals for yourself and your sure of who you are. A few months ago I shared 6 Do's Of Being Newly Single that you should try before you start dating and during the dating process. I believe the things in that list like dating yourself or traveling are things you should never stop doing single or not. 

Last week I shared 6 Dating Tips For Singles two of the tips were making Dating Guidelines and Goals. I’ve never thought of doing this before until my recent break-up. I thought, “Okay what can I learn from this past relationship and break-up.” I came up with my dating guidelines and goals. My dating guidelines and goals consist of things I expected from myself during the process, what I will and will not accept from the guys I’ll be dating, and a list of deal breakers.  I thought I share and help you all make your own dating guidelines and goals.

1.)  Set Realistic Expectations or Don’t Have Expectations At All.

I think we can all admit we’ve had some outrageous or specific expectations we wanted someone to accomplish for us. Well that’s what makes it nearly impossible for you to find someone. This isn’t a cheesy love movie. I know it breaks my heart that no one is going show up with a dozen roses and a horse drawn carriage. More realistic expectations probably consist of them being polite, respectful, considerate, or confident. Whatever it is your looking for make sure you haven’t set the bar too high that makes it impossible to achieve.

2.) Never Settle For Less Than You Deserve

I think these are a set of rules that are unchangeable where as your expectations can be bended as you see fit knowing what you deserve can’t be. Know that you’re beautiful or handsome, you’re special, you’re life has value, and you’re loved by so many people. If anyone makes you feel less than you are then don’t settle for that person ever. I had to learn this the hard way. It’s not okay for someone to make you feel like that. So know that you deserve someone who values, respects, loves, and accepts you just as you are. No if and or buts don’t sacrifice your happiness and heart to please someone or make something work when they make you feel inadequate.

3. ) You Cannot Demand Something You’re Not Willingly To Give Or Don’t Have

When it comes to anything dating or relationship wise it takes two. So if you’re going to set expectations for someone else make sure you can achieve your those expectations as well because if you can’t then why demand someone else too. I believe the same goes in the dating process it’s okay for you to plan and pay for dates or go half and half. I just think it’s nice to be as fair as possible. If you’re making them see one of your favorite movies go ahead and see one of theirs.

On that note you cannot give something you don’t have. I shared a post last week from Rebecca Chapman about this. You cannot give love if you don’t love yourself. I believe that applies here in dating.  A lot of instances you see someone heartbroken trying to heal someone with a broken heart or someone who’s lost trying to help someone else find themselves.  You need to focus on yourself first then try to help someone else. 

4.) Evaluate Your Past Relationships

I know they say it’s never good to go back to the past. However we’re going to make a little exception for this one. In order to not repeat something from your past you must learn from it. So this is a chance for you to exam what worked for you and what didn’t. Make a list of things you’d want to be different or what you think you need to improve in yourself like self-love or confidence.  There is something to be learned in every relationship. 

Have you ever set dating goals? What are some of your dating goals?