Happiness With A Side Of Tea : Love isn't...

Love isn't...

I've been thinking about my previous relationship a lot lately. I've been evaluating and dissecting every moment trying to figure out where I went wrong. The moment I went wrong is when I sacrificed who I was to please someone else. That isn't love that's not even close to love. So based on my horrible yet life changing relationship I wanted to share with you what love isn't from my prospective. 

Love should never be compromising who you are or your values:
You should never have to change who are or what you believe in just be with somebody. I know love comes with certain compromises but if it's love and if they understand then they should be able to accept who you are and your morals. 
Love isn't a job: 
Relationships should never feel like a job. I think once it starts feeling like that you should reconsider your approach. Loving someone and the little things you do shouldn't feel like something you're forced to do it should be something your willingly to do. Once everything feels like a habitually with no emotions it's never a good thing. 
Loving isn't constant bickering: 
Arguments in fights are naturally and it does occur but if you're having arguments constantly that really takes a toll on you and your relationship.

Love isn't become someone else ideal of perfect: 
There is no such thing "perfect" This is similar to the first one you should never have to change who you are to be with someone. If they can't accept you as you are then it's not worth it. They don't deserve you. I know all too well that is easier said than done. However it is something to keep close in mind. 

Love isn't saying hurtful things to feel superior: 
Once somethings said it can't be unsaid. I think this a form of verbal abuse and it's something no one should have to go through. I think this a perfect stance for you to realize that you deserve better than what you're settling for. 

Love isn't dishonesty: 
If you love someone then there should be no reason for you to lie to them. It's as simple as that. I think in a relationship based on love you should be open and honest with each other. There should be no secrets and no lies. It only creates insecurities and problems. 

It took me all this time to realize that my relationship wasn't based on love anymore. As time grew we changed as individuals. The longer I stayed in that relationship the more and more I lost myself. I accepted everything that love wasn't and tried to turn to into something it was never going to be. In the process of trying to love someone who didn't love me, I stopped loving myself. 

Now I am trying to learn to love myself again. I am trying to find myself as well as trying to create my own experiences and adventures. I believe all these lessons are hard to learn and hard to come to terms with in a relationship because you want to fight for it but sometimes it's better if you just let go. I actually thank my ex because if he never broke up with me I would've never done it myself. I would be stuck in a relationship I was no longer happy with. It doesn't change the pain and heartache but it does make me feel free to be who I am. 

What Do You Think Love Isn't? 
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  1. Love it Jazmine. Especially the one about losing yourself, it's so easy to do when you want to please someone. My mantra is "No fear". I learned late in life that I speak with no fear, love with no fear and be myself with no fear. I used to be afraid and that made me vulnerable to abuse.

    1. Ali I love your mantra. It's so inspiring, I believe fear is what's holding so many of us back. Thank you for the inspiration.

  2. Great quotes on Love. Love is our journey, it's our reason, we have to share it to receive it!

    Tracy @ Ascending Butterfly

    1. Thank you Tracy. I've really seen love as a journey however when you look at it, it is. Thank you for stopping by and sharing.